I’m in a yellow cab, staring down at my phone,
Look up at the glowing buildings, feeling so alone.
Hand against the glass, watching the rain fall,
Power off my cell so nobody can call.
Silence. Music dances on the lights on the street,
Calming my heart and denying defeat.
City stars shine through every window.
Stories behind glass that nobody will know.
Close my eyes, I don’t hear the car horns,
Like touching a rose and avoiding the thorns.
City lights casting reflection like paint,
Across every surface that’s touched by the rain.
Humming it softly, the song in my heart,
The cab stops, the driver waiting to depart.
I glance out the window. The rain beating down,
When it drips though my hair, I look around.
Let the rain fall. Let the people rush by.
I tilt back my head in a silent heart cry.
When I look up again I choose not to see scars,
Instead I will walk down the sidewalk of stars.
Posted by Shyannah on March 14, 2013
My heart is beating. Pounding. Breaking. Shattering the ice,
That incased it, soothed it, tamed it. Taught it to play nice.
My heart is thundering, breaking free of apathy’s cold hands,
And rising with a furious passion, to claim its own demands.
My heart is kind, strong and willing, but it’s a rebel heart all the same.
Unyielding to those things that laugh, and suggest it’s just game.
Getting lost in your own thoughts, a labyrinth of false truths,
That threaten, pet and snare the hearts of old men and fiery youths.
Angry now, this gentle heart, unpredictable and wild,
Seeing pain in too many eyes, seeing as a child.
Beating. Breaking. Too much taking, in this world we own,
Rebellious, vicious, cold, malicious, are these what we condone?
Beating colder. Getting older. Time likes to sooth with ice.
Hide the pain, in the mundane, and all that will suffice.
I may not have the strength to fix all that I see wrong,
I may not have the voice to drown out such an aching song.
I may not have the power to change the world … but then again,
The world can and will see change if we change the hearts of men.
So before I let apathy take hold. soothing, lying, taking,
I’ll reach deep and let the fire ignite. Changing. Beating. Breaking.
Posted by Shyannah on December 20, 2012
Heartbeat. Steady. Strong. Assured.
Beating. Rhythmic and unheard.
Heartbeat, filled with optimism,
Spreading brightness like a prism.
Life is full of rise and falls.
Chance it. Try it. Risk it all.
Thrill is found in overcoming,
Excitement in a heart that’s drumming.
Heartbeat. The heart breaks and heals,
And learns of wisdom. Learns what’s real.
Values, treasures, love’s warmth and life,
Giving, overcoming strife.
Will you give or will you take?
Life and love. Heal and break.
Heartbeat. Steady up and down.
The beeping, beating has been found.
Someone thought they had a right,
To stop the rise and fall tonight.
Heartbeat, optimistic still,
Even as they see and choose to kill.
Never, now, to rise and fall.
To love. To give. To risk it all.
Little heartbeat no longer shines.
Computer reads a single line.
How can their own hearts not break?
When they, having life, another’s take?
Sweet baby now they’ll never meet.
They took his chance. His small heartbeat.
Posted by Shyannah on September 14, 2012
I used to imagine that I would always be on the move. Needing nothing more than a backpack and the ability to spin silvery words, like glistening webs, heard only for a moment and then gone with the breeze. In a small moment, connecting. Touching briefly the hardest thing on this earth to reach…the heart. That’s why I wanted to write.
I would close my eyes and listen to the wind, completely at peace and weighed down by nothing. Free in the truest sense. I guess somewhere along the line most of us lose some of that freedom. Sometimes without realizing it. Sometimes by choice. Others recognize the fragility of things like peace, freedom and integrity, and they fight for them. I think that is when we lose what we love most…when, just once, we chose not to fight.
It’s easy to get lost in our lives. Side-tracked by all the things that, if we took half a second to look at…are worthless. Even to us. Trouble is we don’t take a second to look most of the time, and when we finally do, all we see are regrets. That’s not what I want to see.
I sit by the river for a long time, letting the sound of the water sooth my mind. It will be my birthday soon. They always seem to surprise me. Years flying by so fast…like pages that are writing themselves. What stories do they tell? What impact have I made? Questions always flood me, filling my eyes … the eyes looking back at me through my reflection. Older. Always older. I didn’t know your eyes could change, but they do.
I guess I’m just wondering about my life. What I want it to be. My regrets. My dreams. It’s good for me to focus. It’s scary … but good. I smile at the words drifting across my screen. I do love to write. To see the words reflect my thoughts so calmly. Making sense to me and reminding me of what I love. And even though another year has passed by … a glimpse out of the corner of my eye … I still feel at peace when I write. I still want to touch hearts and fight for the purer things. I still want to keep moving forward so that when I look at my life again, I can still smile and think to myself … it was all worth it.
Posted by Shyannah on August 12, 2012
My mind is too full to express,
This savage passion. This loneliness.
Though love I have and life and friends,
My desperate searching never ends.
My life, is slipping faster still,
Through fingers grasped ‘round solid will.
My heart is thundering strong and proud,
The screaming passions are so loud.
But questions don’t just prod and ask,
They tear at me, their only task.
What in this life is worth the trying?
Success is just a lover lying.
My mind is too full. Thoughts, too vast.
My life too short, moving too fast.
I need to know I’ve made it count.
Though I can’t see in what amount.
My failure is the time that’s lost.
My detriment, the measured cost.
Desperate to know with certainty,
That life was not wasted on me.
Posted by Shyannah on August 6, 2012
Mortal people. Secrets. Lies.
Broken souls and silent cries.
Weaving webs and crossing lines,
Loosing site of what defines.
So far lost from what is pure,
They think it only myth for sure.
So far gone from love and trust,
Thinking they must be memories, just.
Mortal people. Bitter. Broken.
Given these, a worthless token,
By a world, desperate for peace,
But loves to war and will not cease.
So far lost from clarity.
So blind from pain they cannot see.
For love and peace, forgiveness, truth,
Are not just things coupled with youth.
They stay with those who fight and war,
Not against others. They’re fighting for,
And against themselves, they will win,
Keeping values locked within.
Youth is more than length of days,
A moments glory. A second’s praise.
It can be kept. It keeps on giving.
It is a light of truth and living.
Other people. Bitter. Cold.
Choosing to be blind and old,
Rather than to fight for truth,
And life and love…eternal youth.
Posted by Shyannah on August 5, 2012
Dear Little One,
I’ve already chosen your name.
You’re already so deep in my heart.
I think of you with secret thoughts,
Even though we are so far apart.
You see, I can’t yet feel your gentle heartbeat.
I can’t glow with pride for you.
Because you’ve not yet been given to me,
And I’ve not yet been given to you.
But don’t misunderstand, my Little One.
I love you more than you could know.
And hope for the day when I touch your hand,
Is reason enough for me to glow.
There are so many things, my dear small one,
So much beauty and lessons to share.
I want to whisper secrets of strength to you,
To inspire, to guide and prepare.
I can’t promise the world will be kind,
Or that you’ll never experience pain.
But I promise that I’ll be right there,
To comfort, to love and explain.
I can’t say that this life will be easy,
But I promise I’ll be here to guide you,
So you can stand tall in this crazy world,
With my guidance and love deep inside you.
Little one, I promise I’ll protect you,
And to make you the best you can be,
For you are not just a fond wish,
You are my little one, the best part of me.
Posted by Shyannah on July 30, 2012
A fiery sunset, laughter with a friend, a kiss in the rain…
Nothing lasts long in this world that we live in,
So take advantage of every little beautiful moment before it slips away…
And when it slips away and you feel cheated, empty, alone…
Don’t be selfish. Let it go even if it breaks your heart.
Because you’re not the only one who needs beautiful moments to survive…
Just be glad you got the short, heart- warming time,
With your special, beautiful moment.
Posted by Shyannah on July 27, 2012
Sitting in a Starbucks, under the soft sounds of Jazz music and the smell of coffee wafting all around me, I sigh and open my laptop, skimming over the stack of emails from clients before looking mournfully at my website. Thinking to myself, for once, pleasure before business. I place my hands on the keys and start to write.
My husband and I are moving soon, to Fresno, California for a job. It’s funny how every time you move, aside from the usually packing and prepping, you always want to make sure you leave the people you love with no regrets. Spend time, have long talks and strengthen each relationship because it may be quite a while before you see them all again.
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed sometimes with work and family and every side project under the sun vying for your attention…but it’s not hard to decide what’s important when you pause for a moment and let your heart remember what it loves most. For me, that’s my family. All else is second.
Music continues to play, dancing around on various instruments and bringing a smile to my face. I do dread moving and all that hassle, but tonight I am free. Tonight I am at peace and typing away on my little laptop in a little coffee shop.
Posted by Shyannah on July 25, 2012